Welcome to my newsletter, bitches! Sorry to call you all bitches right away. It is a tick of mine, like Jesse from Breaking Bad. I like adding bitches to the end of a sentence, it’s good punctuation.
So I’m starting a newsletter and you select group of beauties elected to hear more from me. My constant tweeting, instagramming, texting my friends, standing on stage with a microphone and forcing people to listen to me isn’t enough!! I need my thoughts to be constantly heard and read or I will wither and die.
The newsletter’s official name is the Chuckling Chicken Newsletter because in college I had a blog called Chuckling Chicken. YES, I had a blog in college and YES I am bragging about it! I fancied myself a real Carrie-Bradshaw-type except I didn’t get laid which is sort of the whole point. Real wonder I didn’t get laid with a blog called Chuckling Chicken!
Anyways since the blog was disbanded I’ve gotten laid but I’ve also aligned myself with chicken in a rather significant way. I am known for loving chicken. A chicken connoisseur! It has some odd side effects. I am tagged in all things chicken on Facebook, Instagram etc. I’m seeing the chicken news before everyone else. I’m on the front lines. I’m tagged in several videos online where I take big bites out of chicken sandwiches and my friends laugh in the background. Are they laughing with me or at me? Can’t tell. My friend replaced my name into the Popeyes jingle. (“Lael loves chicken from Popeyes”). Someone told me I should sell chicken out of a bucket as my merch after standup shows! It’s come to the point where I must decide if I want to continue with the chicken thing. Is this what I want to be associated with for the rest of my life? Do I want to be known as the chicken lady?!
I do, alright? I DO! I’m leaning in.
I am doing a newsletter because I am lazy and it seems low-pressure enough that I could sort of taper off and not do it and it wouldn't matter. Also my friend Jason has one that is great and rather than produce my own original ideas I prefer to glom onto the original ideas of others. Much easier!
So yeah God came to me in a vision and told me to create more content. Sort of a bummer message from God but I’m running with it.
CHICAGO – you should come to High Dive every Thursday! Great bar show with great wings. Show is free wings are cheap! Chicago and Damen.
If you are a comic I host Lottie’s on Tuesdays and the Comedy Bar B-Stage Mic on Saturdays! Come sign up and hang out with me!
Follow my new Instagram @laelswellnessjourney! It’s satire and approximately 6 people haven’t realized that and I don't love what that might mean about my personality.
This is long-winded and if you hate it I’ll take you off the list but that will require you telling me to take you off which would be pretty cold. Eventually I might have an unsubscribe button but I will still know who you are! I’d say you let em pile up in your inbox before unsubscribing but hey that’s just me.
Ok I’m done. Love you, bye!