Welcome to the second installment of the Chuckling Chicken newsletter. Not many responses on the first installment, so I’m gonna go ahead and assume y’all did not enjoy it. But we’re back and I think this one is where I’m gonna ~~find my voice~~
Looking for a job because I’m tired of being a listless waste-of-space. Right now I’m just putzing around. Went to the aquarium with my boyfriend and watched the Dolphin Show. It was actually called the Land and Water Show but the Dolphins were the real stars, we all knew that going in. There was also a cute fat sea lion (he was probably normal size for sea lion but looked like a fatty sea dog!) who scooched on stage. We all cheered and hollered when we saw the fatty sea dog. He must have been proud of himself later that night. "Good show today, really good show" he must have thought to himself as he looked in the mirror. "They loved you. You should love you too." He said to his reflection, teary-eyed.
There were penguins too and they were funny, got distracted by the crowd and didn’t march like they were supposed to. I liked these little guys but penguins are technically birds and birds are always on my shit list.
The main animal on my shit-list currently is a small yippy dog who lives above me named Buddy. Buddy barks, consistently, for hours, while his owners are gone. He usually chooses mornings after Laelo had a couple glasses of vino the night before to bark for an eternity. I go insane when he barks. I yell "SHUT UP BUDDY!" into the vents hoping he will listen but he does not listen. It only makes him bark more. He knows what he is doing to me and he gets off on it. This might be an unpopular opinion but all dogs under 20 pounds are useless, yippy, nightmares and should be federally banned.
Other than besmirching the dog, I truly have nothing going on. Fell into a YouTube hole about people who live in Tiny Houses. I hate-watched hours of clips chronicling white couples with dreadlocks who buy tiny houses so they can take them to the Himalayas or some shit. This is my people’s culture and it makes me SICK! One couple was like, “Part of living in a tiny home is that people will judge you. But the people who judge just are just jealous that you are bucking convention and doing something different with your life." As I watched, judging, I looked internally and wondered if my judgement was because I was jealous. It wasn't.
Hope you are all doing great. Everyone has problems but I hope yours are less serious than most.
Love you bye!